First of all it’s not Oslo Torp. It’s Sandefjord Torp. Mainly because it’s not in Oslo, or anywhere particularly near Oslo, it’s in Sandefjord.
Sandefjord (an agreeable, sleepy little town that sells whale meat in its supermarkets – the slab I saw in Meny recently looked like a fat person’s buttocks stripped of skin) is about 115km away from Oslo, meaning – when you take into consideration Norwegian speed limits - about three days drive.
This, of course, is a lie: a lie facilitated by the fact that I’ve just got off a bus from Oslo and am currently sitting in said airport (free broadband – alright!) feeling a little coach-lagged and pissed off at the size of the queue in duty free.
Anyways, in reality the bus journey is about one hour and 40 mins, which isn’t really all that tragic, until you consider that the flight time from Liverpool to Torp is exactly the same.
Yes, I know it’s on a plane, I know that that doesn’t have to stick to the Norwegian motorways (by which I mean roads that are almost as big as the A50 to Knutsford) but there’s just something a bit shit about the fact that the second leg of the journey doubles the time when it’s about a twentieth of the distance (give or take – as I actually have no idea about this).
But, but, BUT, it is a necessary evil.
Flying with SAS from Manchester to Gardermoen (the main airport) is prohibitively expensive, you usually have to fly via Copenhagen and then you still have to get a train into town – which although very fast (about 20 mins) actually costs more than the bus-ride-saga to Torp.
Also, although I’m pissed off at the fact that Ryanair have this habitual hard-on for saying airports are in a main city when they’re blatantly not, they do provide an excellent service from Liverpool to Torp (fast, efficient and spanking new planes) at a price that really is silly.
So, I’ll stop the moaning for now and get back to duty free. The bus lag’s wearing off and unless I get my brother 200 fags quick smart I’ll be walking back from the airport. Again.
Which will make the whole journey considerably longer still.
Ps. has anyone else noticed that the cabin crew on Ryanair never, ever have the right change when you buy your can of beer for £plenty monies?
This usually leads to them saying they’ll come back to you when they have it, only for them to somehow change plane mid way over the North Sea. Is the pay that low that they’ve got to resort to stealing coppers here and there?
If so I demand that they get fair and equitable wages right now! Unless, that is, it bumps up the cost of my 99p flights.
Pps. the pic's the fjord at Sandefjord. Minus the whales.
